Vol.04: Coolness guide - What's cooler than being cool?
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Ice cool! Firstly, you may think that if you’re cool, you would never read a newsletter about “how to be cool”. Does this mean that since you clicked on this, you are immediately categorized as “uncool” or is there still hope? Fear not, read this guide to understand more about coolness and what it takes to be cool.
What does it mean to be “cool”? Being cool transcends social desirability. You can throw numerous positive adjectives and compliments at a person that may increase their perceived social desirability, but still not their “coolness” factor (e.g. competence).
Breaking down “coolness”
Many scholars have tried to pinpoint what “cool” is and there are numerous definitions available. According to Wikipedia:
“Coolness is an aesthetic of attitude, behavior, comportment, appearance and style which is generally admired. Because of the varied and changing connotations of cool, as well as its subjective nature, the word has no single meaning.”
As the concept of being “cool” is both timeless and ever-changing, I think to properly assess what being cool is, we need a new definition. In my opinion:
Being cool is a melting pot of social desirability*, with an allure of newness and a splash of “je ne sais quoi”**.
*Independent and confident big picture-thinkers; make other people feel cool or good about themselves; passionate learners; project positive *vibes*
**Effortless and non-judgmental that never try hard to impress; know what they stand for; offer a sense of exclusiveness
This study even went as far as conducting an empirical investigation into “coolness”, breaking down the exact characteristics people would typically associate with “cool”:
De-mystifying coolness
Several commercials promise us that if we buy their products or services, they can make us “prettier”; “healthier”; “happier”; but never “cooler”. Why is that? It may be because being cool is not a tangible feature, feeling or emotion, but merely an unobservable force that is associated to something or someone. Being cool is unrelated to how much money is spent on fashion, wellness, interior and other aesthetic stuff (with maybe the exception of AirPods). Being cool is meant to be effortless and fun, fearless of being judged or measured.
After examining what “being cool” is, I personally believe there are two ways of “being cool”: 1. singular: being cool or 2. plural: being part of a “coollective” (just invented that)
Being cool (singular):
Spotted in: full leather suit, sequined hat and yellow suede shoes
#Mood: savvy, edgy, chic, confident, killing people with kindness
Instagram feed: blurry camera roll dumps, rolling-eye selfies, non-cringe outfit reels, consistently unexpected style
Listens to: obscure electronica on Soundcloud with <5k plays
Sample: Kate Moss, Billie Eilish, Marilyn Manson, Rihanna, Anders Gran
Being part of a “coollective” (plural):
Spotted in: oversized margiela blazer and byFar bag (if you know, you know)
#Mood: dreamy, naïve, spiritual, loving, adventurous, mildly depressed
Instagram feed: design furniture, outfit close-ups, matcha tea, often encapsulated in afterlight filter
Listens to: Varies, subject to whose watching (occasional Harry Styles shh…)
Sample: Xenia Adonts, Elsa Hosk, Camille Charriere
So, how can you be cool?
As we have seen, there are several ways to “be cool” and several features that people perceive as “cool”. If we look at the list from the above research, the below can be a useful check-list to identify strengths / weaknesses and what you can proactively do to find your cool:
Personal competence: read books, seek to learn something every day
Trendy: stay up-to-date on what’s trending (see top picks below)
Desirable, Attractive: exercise regularly, look after your body and project body positivity, perfect your posture, be kind to yourself
Confident: If you have the three points above = confident!
Friendly, Pro-social values: treat everyone with a smile (regardless if they’re a cleaner or co-worker), read up on other people’s passions and try to use this knowledge as a common ground (e.g. sports interest or similar)
Emotionally controlled: believe in the law of “attraction” - believe that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into your life
Hedonist, Humorous: try to put yourself outside of your comfort zone, say “yes” more often than no and don’t hold back on fun
Unconventional: allow yourself to be unique and worship your differences
Top Picks for being cool in 2021:
Buy second-hand: Avoid buying new, mass-produced “trend” items, opt for buying some cool, unique objects at (i) Auctions (such as Bukowkis, Chiswick), (ii) Resale platforms (Vestiaire, Selency, 1stdibs) and (iii) local thrift shops
Play with colors: Pantone just released their colors for 2021: “Ultimate Gray” (PANTONE 17-5104) and “Illuminating” yellow (PANTONE 13-0647), blend them in with your go-to style for a pop of “trendy”
Work on your mental health and overall wellness: Stop comparing your life to others, they may be on Chapter 10 while you’re on Chapter 2, but it’s all right, we might not even be looking at the same book. Space out (Headspace, Insight Timer, Smiling Mind), attend a yoga class, get creative, take a bubble bath
Find your “tribe”: Why try to fit in if you were born to stand out? Embrace your qualities, seek people that are similar to you or cultivate your differences
Start-ups to watch:
Thingtesting: Discover and authenticate new emerging brands. Thingtesting is not sponsored or paid by the brands in its directory
Highbrow: Learn something new everyday, with 5-minute lessons delivered to your email inbox (300+ topics)
Goodreads: Find, share, recommend, read and review books your friends like via a mobile and web app
Smartposture: Improve your posture, detects issues and helps you to maintain good habits
Meetup: Expand your network, connect with others who share your unique interests and passions and find your “tribe”
Happify: Improve your emotional health and drive your cool through behavior change technology
Lastly, think about which credible and sincere characteristics you have and cultivate them. Find your “addressable crowd” - there will always be someone out there that thinks you are cool.
Happy Friday!